“Self-love as self-caring, a new way of relating to ourselves.”
Research shows that the more we practice being kind and compassionate with ourselves, either using informal practices such as the Self-love Break, or formal meditation practices such as Affectionate Breathing – the more we’ll increase the habit of self-love.
There are a few tips to practicing self-love that is important to keep in mind for novice and experienced practitioners alike.
- Self-love is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings. In other words, even though the friendly, supportive stance of self-love is aimed at the alleviation of suffering, we can’t always control the way things are.
- If we use self-love practice to try to make our pain go away by suppressing it or fighting against it, things will likely just get worse. With self-love we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. This allows us to hold ourselves in love and connection, giving ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain, while providing the optimal conditions for growth and transformation.
Some people find that when they practice self-love, their pain increases at first. This is not unusual and is a part of the healing and growing process.
And if we ever feel overwhelmed by difficult emotions, the most self-loving response may be to pull back temporarily – focus on the breath, the sensation of the toes, and our feet on the ground. Or engage in ordinary, behavioral acts of self-care such as having a cup of tea or listening to uplifting music.
When we open our hearts the stored pain will come out. This is when we safely ground ourselves and be as kind and gentle as possible
There are a couple of sayings that describe this process: “When we give ourselves unconditional love, we discover the conditions under which we were unloved” or “Love reveals everything unlike itself.”
Fortunately, we can meet old pain with the resources of mindfulness and self-love and the heart will naturally begin to heal.
Still, it means we have to allow ourselves to be slow learners when it comes to practicing self-love. We planting the seeds that will eventually blossom and grow.
Source – https://self-love.org/tips-for-practice/
Adapted by G Ross Clark